


I'm Alone

by jhenysn21, Lexiilooo



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-07 21:10:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3183290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhenysn21/pseuds/jhenysn21, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexiilooo/pseuds/Lexiilooo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke killed Finn. How will she handle it? As Raven will handle it? As Bellamy and others will deal with it?<br/>This story follows the events of the episode 2x08</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing

Clarke was paralyzed looking at the lifeless body of the boy she had loved, to whom she had surrendered all and trusted. As she killed him, he seemed as quiet as the boy she met when they came to earth, Finn had been good to her, he made her feel things she had never felt before, and he had literally been her first love. While he had been a disappointment, she never thought their story was going to end this horrible way. She killed him, she was a killer, but she did it because she knew there was no other way out, if she had hurt Lexa the grounders would have attacked and all would have been killed even Finn. His appeal for mercy had no effect on the commander of grounders, there was nothing to be done but to leave Finn to receive his punishment. But she couldn’t just stand by and not help, she could not bear to see him being brutally tortured, she did the only thing she could to help him, she gave a fair and death quiet him, her last gift to the boy who had made her happy.  
She was angry at him at first, but she could not hate him forever, not that she had forgiven or she still felt the same way as him. Clarke didn’t know the Finn she found in the village, as Bellamy said , the war ended with him, but even though she wanted him to die, she didn’t want to kill him. Being a leader was ruining her, there were many difficult decisions to be made, she was just beginning to understand her mother. She would not ever forget that her mother killed her father, but she just killed Finn in that same manner. Could she think she was better than her mother? Difficult decisions need to be made, to decide who lives and who dies. Once she said that to Bellamy; We do not decide who lives and who dies; But what did she do here? She decided that Finn would die so that the rest of his people survived, and so that they could gain allies for the war that was to come.  
But is Finn’s death enough for the grounders to help? Does it really count if there was no torture? She was not sure, but prayed that no one else needed to die, although she knew that many lives would still be lost along the way.  
She was distracted when two grounders came to draw Finn's body from the platform, and then she realized that someone was screaming. When she looked back, she remembered that everyone was watching the scene unfold. The owner of the desperate voice was Raven; Raven would hate her forever, she sure would not understand the decision she had to make. Clarke took a deep breath, turned and walked silently through the grounders corridor toward camp.  
When the gate was opened, she didn’t know if she wanted anyone to come near her. She was upset, silent, but inside there was a fight, a screaming and crying, but she could not let it all out, she didn’t understand why. Raven was the first to appear in front of her screaming while being secured by Bellamy.  
'' You killed him, you killed him, how could you? He loved you. His killer. ''  
No one opened their mouth while Raven screamed, Bellamy just stood there holding her by the waist preventing her from flying to Clarke's neck, and suddenly she stopped, Bellamy and Clarke thought she had calmed down they decided to risk it.  
“Raven ... ?”  
At this point Raven caught Bellamy’s loose grip off guard, stepped forward, and punched Clarke hard enough that she fell backwards. Bellamy held her tightly again as she tried to reach Clarke.  
'' You should be dead, he did everything for you, he loved you more than anyone, he killed all those people for you, this is entirely your fault, you killer. ''  
Clarke, whose face was full of blood gushing from her nose looked around and saw a mixture of horror and pity on the faces of the people closest to her, and also those who had murmured relief knowing that there would be no retaliation for what happened. Her mother, Kane, and Bellamy looked at her with a mixture of pity and fear. She did not want pity from anyone; she did what was right for her people. She looked at Bellamy, thinking that at least he would understand her side, but he was too busy with Raven. Now the only person who came towards her was her mother, but she didn’t want to talk about it with her mother now, with all of this happening she wished her father was alive more than ever.  
'' Clarke honey, come with me. '' Her mother reached out  
She stepped back instinctively and shook her head, she looked around once more to see the confusion and she realized that there was no one there for her, she was alone. Clarke went through camp pushing people who were in her way, looking for a place to think; she ducked behind one of the ark debris and sat down. She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head on them, suddenly she realized that all this time she still held the knife she used to kill Finn, she stood there paralyzed looking at that knife having no idea what she should do, how she would look at people. She wanted to run away.  
She was already there for some time looking at that knife that had taken Finn’s life when she heard a noise, she raised the knife instinctively. Bellamy appeared raising both hands up in surrender, she sighed and lowered the knife. He just stared at her and frowned when he saw that she still had blood on her face and hands. As he turned and left, she hadn’t had time to open her mouth. Was he judging her? Did he not want to be near her? Did he also think she was a murderer? Of course she was, but she never thought that Bellamy would turn his back on her, she needed him now more than ever, and he had turned his back on her. Despair began to take hold of her, she was truly alone. Clarke began to breathe heavily, and suddenly a sob escaped her lips, she had no one and it hurt like hell.  
At that moment Bellamy came back with a small bucket in hand, bent down in front of her, silently took the knife from her hand, grabbed a piece of cloth and began to gently clean the blood that remained from Raven’s hit. She was silent as he wiped her face and hands. When he finished, he sat down beside her and was silent, he knew she did not want to talk, but he stayed there for her to know that he would not leave her at this time when she needed someone so much.  
She laid her head on his shoulder which surprised him, so she finally said:  
'' I am a murderer. '' Her voice was choked, she wanted to cry but she couldn’t, it seemed that there was something in her throat preventing her from crying out, guilt. She had no right to cry, after all it was her fault, it all started when she shut the damn door of the ship, Finn killed by her and he died for her, she killed him, it was all her fault, she hurt people, people just die around her, she should just stop caring, it was easier.  
Bellamy was quiet after her statement and she thought: Of course he did not say anything, I'm right, I'm a killer and he can’t change that. Then he spoke, breaking her from her reverie.  
'' Clarke you're the best person I've ever known, you are good and generous, you believe in people, and second chances, you forgive even the worst mistakes like mine and Finn’s, you always see the best in people , you are not a murderer, you are a survivor, what you did with the Finn was necessary, not murder, we know what would have happened if you had attacked the commander. We would all be dead by now and Finn would have been tortured to death. Raven cannot understand this now, but in time she will see the truth, you gave Finn a quiet death much better comparted to what was waiting for him, we could not save him, nobody could. Being a leader means making difficult decisions, who lives and who dies, and you saved us all tonight and gave peace to Finn, you cannot blame yourself for that. ''

He was right but she couldn’t quite think so, she still felt guilt eating away inside her.  
'' Everyone I love dies, first my father, then Wells and now Finn, everyone around me just gets hurt, and I can’t stop it. ''  
'' I'm still here aren’t I? Not that you love me as you father or Wells and Finn, but I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere, I believe in you Clarke, you're better than this and we'll face all of this and we will bring Jasper, Monty, and the others home together. ''  
'' I don’t hate you, you know? '' Clarke said  
'' No, you love me. '' He said mockingly  
Did she love him? She felt something, Bellamy had been her close friend, he was there all the times that she needed him, he saved her life more times than she could count, he always understood what she meant with just a glance. They shared the same opinions, most of the time. He was the person she trusted most, she had just lost Finn and she knew that Bellamy was all that was left for her. Raven hated her, Octavia had Lincoln and her mother was the Chancellor and had many obligations, Bellamy was the one who was always there for her, and probably the only one who still trusted her and her sanity after this. Her mother would probably think she is on the verge of collapse after what she had just done, and she really was. Bellamy was all that was left….. yes she loved him, he was her family now ... Oh my God .... this only meant one thing: She would lose him too, sooner or later she would lose Bellamy, then she'll be alone. That's when the tears came, the possibility of also losing Bellamy devastated her, she could not imagine living in a world where Bellamy Blake did not exist, she would be broken forever.  
A great sob escaped her throat and Bellamy turned to her.  
'' Clarke, are you alright? ''  
She let it all out, started crying desperately, she couldn’t speak or even see, her eyes were flooded with tears. She was broken, and she didn’t know if she would ever be fixed. Bellamy embraced her and she nestled her head on his chest, soaking his shirt with her tears. He hugged her so hard that she felt safe for a few moments; he stroked her hair and cradled her as if she were a child who had a nightmare, oh how she would like it if it was all just a nightmare. She could not remember the last time she laughed or felt alive, perhaps on the day they arrived on earth she had felt this way, but she doesn’t remember now. And of course that feeling did not last, and she now lived in a hell she had no idea how to get out of, and she was broken ...  
'' Shhh shhh it’ll be fine, you'll be fine, I'm here and not going anywhere even if you send me away. ''  
Bellamy felt his heart ache, he liked Finn, he was his friend too, but Bellamy was getting used to losing people around him all the time. Clarke loved Finn, and she lost all she loved, his heart ached to see her suffer and he couldn’t do anything to help. He loved her and cared for her, they had become friends over time, sparring partners, leaders.  
He stared at Clarke wrapped in his arms looking like a helpless child, she was not, she was a strong woman and he needed to show it to her. She would get over this and move on, but for now he would only comfort her and stay as long as she needed him.  
She cried in his arms until she fell asleep, when he realized she had fallen asleep he got up, carried her, and walked toward her mother’s tent. When he entered the tent Clarke’s mother looked up with a worried expression. Bellamy reassured her.  
'' She just fell asleep. ''  
'' Put her here. '' Abby instructed indicating a bed in the corner. As he lay her on the mattress Clarke woke up and sat up terrified  
''Clarke, it’s okay dear! You are safe! I’ll be here with you all night '' Abby told her stroking Clarke’s head.  
'' NO! Please mother I don’t want you here tonight, I don’t want to talk, I just want to be alone. '' She looked at Bellamy who was standing in front of them, when her mother realized Clarke did not want to be alone, Bellamy was the one person she wanted beside her. She wouldn’t fight it right now, Clarke didn’t need that, so she just smiled.  
'' Okay, I'll be in the infirmary if you need me, I love you. '' She gave Clarke a kiss on the forehead and left the tent. Bellamy looked at her and when he was about to leave she asked.  
'' Bellamy ... can you stay with me please? '' He gave a smile awkwardly and nodded  
'' Of Course. ''  
He sat beside her on the bed and she didn’t hesitate to snuggle into his chest again, she closed her eyes and was carried away by exhaustion and fatigue.  
'' Always ... '' he said when he thought she had already fallen asleep, he would be with her as long as she wanted, he would look after her and protect her while he lived, there was no way she could push him away, he always would be there for her. Inhaling the smell of her hair he slept and prayed that things were better one day, and that Clarke Griffin could finally be happy ...

 

  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Finn was tied up to the tree trunk and being tortured by grounders. He had blood everywhere, he vomited blood and asked for mercy and she was there, trapped, she could not do anything to stop the pain. And suddenly she was in front of him with the knife in her hand and he said, '' I'm afraid, '' she tortured him, she killed him, then she turned around and saw all his friends fallen at his feet, dead covered for blood, and one in particular next to her feet, she only realized when she stumbled on it. It was Bellamy’s body, his eyes were open but he was dead, his throat had been cut, and he bled to death.  
She was in the middle of a circle of grounders, they knelt when she looked at them, she was the commander she had killed everyone in front of her. One of the warriors came over to her with a torch in his hand, and lit the bodies lying on the ground on fire, she walked back fleeing the flames, and she gasped when the flames reached Bellamy’s body. She wanted to scream, ask them to stop, but she was speechless. She was grabbed from behind, so she froze, she felt her heavy breathing and when she looked back Finn was holding her, he had a knife to her throat and whispered  
'' You must die, you're a murderer, you kill all who love you, you do not deserve to be loved. ''

She woke up screaming with Bellamy trying to calm her  
'' Clarke, Clarke's okay it was just a dream. ''  
He was scared, she had blood on her hands and when she looked at him, he had blood running out of his nose  
'' Oh my God Bellamy I'm sorry. ''  
She pulled her coat sleeve and tried to clean all that she had done to his nose, but to no avail.  
He grimaced; she was hurting him so she walked away  
'' I'm really sorry, I had a horrible dream. ''  
He gave her understanding smile  
'' It's all right, it was only a scratch, do you want to talk about it? ''  
She looked into his eyes, those brown eyes that haunted her dreams, she made a face and almost cried again, she felt tears coming and swallowed.  
'' It's okay, it was just a dream. You should put a bandage on it. ''  
'' Okay I'll be right back. ''  
He got up and left the tent, she lay down and sighed, she was replaying the dream in her head, Finn, Bellamy, her friends all dead and it was her fault. It was just a dream but of course what Finn had said was true, everyone around her died or got hurt, she could not let this happen to Bellamy too. She needed to get away from him, he could not get hurt. She could not lose him too. At that moment Bellamy returned to the tent holding a cloth on his nose, smiling at her.  
'' You alright? ''  
She asked  
'' It was only a scratch, it even stopped bleeding. '' He said smiling  
Yes she would depart for his sake; she would not let him get hurt because of her. But tomorrow, because today she desperately needed him at her side, to ward off nightmares and help her sleep. Tomorrow it would take courage to alienate Bellamy Blake out of her life for as long as necessary so that it would not run any danger because of it ...  
'' Are you okay? '' He asked  
'' Yes .. yes, I’m really okay, I'm sorry again. ''  
'' Don’t be sorry, it wasn’t your fault; you didn’t know what you was doing. Do you think you can sleep? It's still early in the morning. ''

She gave a shy smile and moved to the side leaving a space for him on the mattress. He walked over to her and sat beside her; she unhesitatingly snuggled into his chest, and closed her eyes. He stroked her hair and wished that this moment was happening in other circumstances, but he enjoyed it all the same. Clarke was his friend and she needed him now more than ever, but they are just friends and would be only friends forever, it could never change, he could not risk losing her too. They still had a war ahead and friends to rescue; he hoped it was not late, and that Finn had not died for nothing, he also hoped that the grounders keep their word. Bellamy hoped so many things ... one main hope is that eventually his people could live in peace, but that was far from happening.


	2. May We Meet Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke must deal with the consequences of their actions and away Bellamy Blake of your life once and for all, even if she has to do it hate her.

Clarke walked alone through the quiet forest, she took a deep breath of clean air and thought maybe she could pretend she was somewhere else for a moment, but that moment did not last long because she heard footsteps behind her. She raised her rifle and prepared to shoot until Bellamy appeared.  
'' What are you doing here? I almost shot you. '' She said exasperated from the fright she felt.  
...  
It had been a week since the death of Finn, since Clarke had allowed herself to cry for the last time, since she had seen Raven, since she had been alone with Bellamy, since the only night she could sleep without nightmares, since the day she decided to stop feeling sorry for herself; things had not improved since that day.  
The next morning after Finn’s death, Clarke had decided to begin her decision to remove Bellamy from her life, she would not risk his safety, even though she felt the need for him, she could not be selfish in that way. She got up before he woke up and went to her mother. Mother and daughter had to go to the commander of grounders to discuss the terms of the truce, since that night she did not speak with anyone about what had happened, the commander admitted Clarke's courage to kill the man she loved to save her people and warned that her actions will haunt her for the rest of her life. Clarke had no doubt that the commander was right. They agreed that they would need a few days to regroup and prepare an invasion; the mountain men used to know whenever they would make their approach and consequentially release the poisonous fog. They had to figure out how to break in without putting the lives of people who were trapped in the mountain at risk. Meanwhile groups of qualified people would be released without any worry to hunt in the forest and bring food to the camp, but they were required to stay clear of any grounder villages.  
When Clarke returned to the camp with her mother and Kane, Bellamy came to meet them.  
'' Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving? ''  
'' It wasn’t necessary for you to be there, everything has been agreed to, Kane you can let him know the rules. '' Clarke said coldly and walked away.  
Since that day Clarke didn’t seek Bellamy, and kept as far as she could from him, was not alone with him, and when it was inevitable to talk to him, she did not look him in his eyes. This was destroying her on the inside but it was the right thing to do, the less Bellamy was involved, less danger he might run into.  
The next morning Kane sanctioned a hunting group and Clarke insisted that she go along; she would freak out if she had to stay another day in the camp. She was getting impatient and staying in camp knowing that Raven was there did not help. Raven did not want to see her, and Clarke did not blame her for that, and with Clarke there, Raven would not leave the maintenance area and that wasn’t fair. Anyways Clarke wanted some time to walk alone through the woods so she finally had a chance, luckily their partners didn’t care that she was there. But they did not realize when she snuck away from them. When she was already a good ways away from her partners, she immediately thought that the steps behind her would be either an animal or an enemy. For a moment she thought she could have accidentally approached a grounder camp when she saw him there.  
'' What the hell are you thinking going so far from the group alone? ''  
He spoke a little louder than she would like, he looked angry, and he was. She was avoiding him the last few days; he had done something wrong? Had he said something? He had no idea and she didn’t even give him a clue. He woke up the next day and she was not there, she simply left the camp with her mother and Kane and even told him what was going on, she did everything to not be alone with him, and when she rarely spoke to him, and wouldn’t look at him when she did speak. He was annoyed, he wanted to know what was going on and when he saw that she was going hunting with Kane's group, he decided to come just to get her alone so that she may explain what was happening. He had no chance since she joined two idiots who tended to be distracted and didn’t even realize she had left. He didn’t know if she had chosen to go with them not wanting to be near him or because she wanted to be alone, and he had his answer when the two idiots went back without heading to the meeting point and even worse, without noticing that she was not behind them. After scolding the two idiots he went out looking for her, sending Kane and others back to camp with the game from the day. He promised to bring her back when he finds her; he watched from afar for some moments, she looked so sad and alone. She should not have been alone at all, but she was too stubborn to admit that she needed someone that day in the camp. That situation probably would not be repeated, and it made him angry, he was furious that she was suffering and could not do anything to change it, he was furious that she did not let him help her, he was furious to see her moving away from everything and everyone, and he was especially mad to see her risking her life alone in the forest so far from the camp.  
'' I just wanted to get some alone time, take a look around, and see if I can find some clue of how to avoid Mount Weather’s acid mist. '' She said with her head still not turned towards him.  
'' You wanted to be alone? '' He asked in a tone of mockery  
'' Alone is all that you have been in the last few days Clarke, what's going on with you? ''  
'' What is happening to me? '' She asked incredulously '' You may not know Bellamy but I killed Finn Collins, the guy who I loved and that killed 18 people because of me, and his former girlfriend, which he betrayed for me, will hate me for it the rest of my life. My friends are still stuck in this damn hill and at the risk of having their blood drained until they are dead, and this crap this alliance did not give us any advantage so far. After all I’m still apprehensive that Lexa will not fulfill her part of the bargain, then Finn will have died in vain and to add to it, all of our friends will be lost forever .... that's what happened. ''  
Her eyes were shining with tears that she was not allowed to release, and her voice was bordering a scream as she ended. Bellamy’s expression softened.  
'' Clarke I ... '' He said taking a step toward her, but she backed away  
'' I'm sorry Bellamy, I'm sorry that I avoided you all these days, but after all that I can’t bear to be near you. ''  
'' How Come? Did I do something? '' His expression was sad, he could not imagine why she wouldn’t be near him  
'' Yes Bellamy, after thinking about it a lot, I came to the conclusion that everything bad that happened in our lives is your fault. ''  
She could not tell him the truth, he wouldn't accept if she said she had turned away to protect it herself, so she would have to do so that he hated her. If she told the truth he would end up convincing her that this is silly but it wasn't, and she knew she needed to get away from him. He needed to be sure to stay clear of her, and if it meant breaking her heart she would, her was already in pieces and no one could fix it. There was a slight chance that maybe it could be fixed with Bellamy's help and much effort, but that option was not available to her, she had no right to be happy after all she did and was still about to do.  
'' How is it my fault? '' He replied stunned  
She took a deep breath and convinced herself that it was the right thing to do  
'' It is! If you hadn't convinced others to take off the damn bracelets, my mother would not have had to send Raven to Earth. You wouldn't have thrown the damn radio in the river and we wouldn't have needed those damn burst fires that burned the grounder village, we wouldn't have been attacked and the 320 people who died to save oxygen could have still been alive, the Ark would have arrived on Earth and we would have a place for them all. And finally, yes, Bellamy it's all your fault, because if it weren't for that damned attack I wouldn't have had to close the ship door and Finn wouldn't have been locked out. Mountain men wouldn't have gotten in our fight and would not have taken our friends and I would still be with Finn ... Damn the time I came back for you, I was ready to close the door, but I realized that you weren't there, I should have closed that door earlier and Finn would be with me, and now he's dead and you're alive to keep doing all kinds of irresponsible things that you always do , so I cannot look at or talk to you, because it reminds me that boy who died on that tree trunk ... ''  
When she finished she almost couldn't breathe and when she looked at him it hurt more than she could imagine  
'' Clarke I ... I ... ''  
He could not speak and Clarke wanted to cry. A tear ran down her face but she turned so that he wouldn't see her  
'' I didn't know you thought this way about me ... ''  
Bellamy was devastated, of course he still carried the guilt of all these things with him but he never told anyone and he never imagined that Clarke blamed him too, but she was right, and deep down he knew that, who was he to think that she would ever see it any other way?  
He took a few steps back but then he heard a noise. He went to Clarke and pulled her down to the ground. It was the mountain men, there were many of them around, they were completely surrounded and there was no escape. Only one of them would return to the camp tonight and it would not be him. There is no time better than now to start fixing your mistakes, then he looked at her, and memorized every piece of her face, just because it would possibly be the last time he would see her, and that was hard.  
"Clarke listen to me, we have no escape from this, we are surrounded and they know that there is someone here, I will run and you hide until they catch me and leave, then you run back home."  
"No way." She said it almost too high if Bellamy was captured he would be killed, they knew he knew too much and couldn't join the others. She would not imagine Bellamy stuck upside down, with his blood draining from him him, with life leaving his body. Once again it was all her fault if she was not so stubborn and hadn't gone too far astray this would not be happening to them.  
"Clarke if you are caught they will kill you, and you are the only person who has been there and knows the way, you're too valuable, you can't be captured, but I can, because I am replaceable."  
"No you will not do that Bellamy, it's my fault that we are even here."  
"No matter who is to blame Clarke, you'll do what I'm telling you. People need you Clarke, no one I love needs me, Lincoln will take care of Octavia, she'll be fine ... and you don't need me, never needed me..."  
She was shocked by his words, what he meant by no one I love? Was he referring to her and Octavia? She had no time to think about it now, she had done everything to push him away and now she was losing him forever. She needed to do ... say something, but she did not have time  
"I ... Bellamy"  
At that moment he cut her off, approached quickly and kissed her forehead "Bellamy.."  
It was then that she felt a sharp pain behind her head and everything started to get dark, the last thing she remembers is Bellamy's voice saying  
"Run home princess, may we meet again ..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this chapter but also suffered a lot with him, I hope you like the way the story took, finally please comment, leave kudos, and give their opinions on the story


	3. I Can't Lose You Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy was carried by the mountain men, what Clarke will do to bring it back before it's too late?

Clarke woke up and found herself covered with leaves, she was afraid because she was there all alone. She sat up, got rid of the leaves; it was then she felt pain on the back of her head and remembered what happened. Bellamy had been taken by mountain men or had perhaps been killed on the spot, she could not believe this was happening. She had tried so hard to keep him away from her and protect him; she had tried saying those horrible things to him, things that she of course did not truly believe. But she had to make him believe that it was all his fault, so that he would stay away and now it was all in vain because his life was in danger. It was her fault, she may never see him again, and he would die thinking she hated him. She could never hate him, he was her friend, her partner, and she loved him. He was always there when she needed him. She had lost Finn and now she would lose Bellamy, she didn’t know if she would be able to recover from something like this. A noise brought her out of her thoughts, she was scared but it was just a rabbit. She got up quickly and searched around to see if his weapon was near, and she found it beside her. Bellamy had hidden it with her, she looked at the sky and saw that it was almost sunset, she had been out for hours, and her mother would have been worried. She probably was sending a search party. Clarke should return to camp before that, and convince her mother that they needed to invade Mount Weather now, or Bellamy would be lost forever. She did exactly what Bellamy had said; she ran home as fast as she could.

...  
When she reached the gates of the camp Jaha she was out of breath, she had run all the way back to camp stopping only a few minutes to breathe; her mother received at the gates along with Kane.

'' Clarke, where the hell have you been? And where is Bellamy? Didn’t he find you? ''  
'' It was my fault mom ... ''  
'' What was your fault? ''  
'' Bellamy, the mountain men took Bellamy and it was my fault ... ''  
Tears erupted from her eyes and she could no longer contain herself, her mother hugged her and Kane spoke assuringly  
'' If he's alive, we will find him, we'll take it from there Clarke, I promise ... ''  
'' You don’t…. understand… '' She said between sobs '' He has to be alive, he cannot die, if I lose him I too won’t be able to stand it. We need to leave now, or he will be dead soon. It was all my fault, he just wanted to protect me, and I hurt him, I need to tell him the truth, he needs to know. ''  
She was yelling and everyone around her looked at her, Octavia who had also been waiting for them to return appeared asking for Bellamy.  
'' Hey what happened? Where is Bellamy? Why are you crying Clarke? '' Octavia was already nervous  
'' Octavia ... I .. ''  
'' Where is Bellamy, Clarke? ''

Octavia was already yelling and Clarke could not stop crying which didn’t help anything.  
Kane calmed Octavia who was already desperate for details, and Lincoln was quickly beside her.  
''Octavia, Bellamy was captured by the mountain men '' Kane explained  
''But didn’t he leave to look for Clarke? What happened? Because you weren’t captured! '' She looked at Clarke  
''He hit me in the head, and I passed out. When I woke up he was gone. '' Clarke said  
'' That’s my brother, always doing the stupid thing. '' Said Octavia between laughter and tears  
'' We'll get him from there Octavia I promise. ''  
'' Don’t make promises you cannot keep Clarke, you've been there before; you know how hard it is to get out, and now it is sure to be much worse. '' Said Lincoln  
'' I know, but I'll get him from there, if it's the last thing I do. '' Said Clarke definitively  
'' No way Clarke you're not going anywhere until we have a plan in hand and the help of grounders. '' Abby retorted  
Clarke didn’t argue, she knew it wouldn’t be worth it. If her mother decided not to send anyone she would go alone. She released her mother from the embrace, her mind racing, took Octavia by the arm and walked out, leaving others behind, and Lincoln followed.  
''Clarke you do not go anywhere! Understand? '' Abby shouted behind her  
They went to the place where she had hidden a week ago, where Bellamy had taken care of her. The memory of that day made her want to cry again. She turned to Octavia and Lincoln and finally spoke...  
''We need people who are willing to help, if my mother won’t do anything, we will. I will not let Bellamy be in that mountain for more than one day, it may be too late when they get there, I cannot let that happen. ''  
''Who do you think would risk their life to get Bellamy out of there?'' Asked Octavia half incredulous.  
'' Monroe, Murphy, me, you and Lincoln for now, but I'm sure we could get more volunteers. ''  
'' Why do you think Murphy would risk his life for Bellamy? '' Countered Octavia  
'' I don’t know, but I'm sure he will. ''  
'' I think you can get some help from the commander, if you talk to her. '' Said Lincoln  
'' Okay I'll do it. '' Clarke turned and walked to the gate, her mother was there and didn’t want to let her out,but then Lincoln and Octavia were beside her.  
'' Clarke I said you're not going anywhere. ''  
'' And when was the last time I obeyed your command Mom? We’re not going to the mountain, just to Lexa’s village so I can ask her for reinforcement. We will be on the way to Mount Weather in the morning, I'll save Bellamy, and if all goes well, the rest of my friends. ''

When the gate had been opened Clarke turned to her mother and said.

'' If you value my safety I suggest you gather a well-armed team to join us, we will return as soon as possible. ''  
She turned and disappeared into the night with Octavia and Lincoln behind her.  
....  
The next morning Clarke was already on the way to Mount Weather with the guards that her mother had provided and grounders that Lexa made available to accompany them. Kane, Monroe, and Murphy also accompanied the mission. Kane was the only requirement that Abby had for Clarke, she would need him; Abby was calmer with him watching the group and leading the guard, while Lincoln led the grounders group. They would enter the tunnel where Bellamy and Octavia had found Lincoln; they were divided into four groups. The first would make their way inside, find the other 47 and the second would free the grounder prisoners in the cages, she knew they wouldn’t need to worry about the citizens because they would die from the security breach and radiation. The guards with protective suits would be the problem, but they weren’t many of them. The other group and Kane with two more guards would look for Bellamy; she was sure he would be in the medical ward or in some cage, she would start looking there. They made it to the elevator where she had escaped with Anya. They had killed some reapers that appeared, those who were caught would be brought back to the healing process.  
When they managed to break into the bunker the alarm went off and warned about the security breach. They didn’t have much time and each group was taking care of its mission; Clarke remembered how to get to the medical wing and went straight there with Kane and the two guards in pursuit. Octavia of course was with Lincoln in the group that would rescue the 47. They arrived in the ward where there were cages and she searched in all of them, but Bellamy was not there. Meanwhile the grounders that were being released from the cages were receiving weapons and orders to help rescue the others. She ran to the medical wing and searched every room, but he was not there, and not in the quarantine area. She was desperate, she could not find him, and she could only hear the noise that damn shrill alarm in her ear, she was confused, was she too late? That's when she turned the corner and found a woman with the hazmat suit, she tried to run but Clarke reached out and knocked her to the floor.  
''I'll give you a chance, and only one chance to survive and if you don’t give me the answer I want I’ll tear this suit and let you die slowly. '' Clarke threatened the woman while Kane watched a violent tormented Clarke in way he had never seen her before. The frightened woman just nodded yes  
''Good. '' Clarke said. '' Yesterday the guards brought a boy here; what did they do to him and where he was taken? ''  
'' He's with Dr. Tsing on the restricted floor. '' Said the woman shakily  
'' What are you doing with him there? '' Clarke asked  
'' I don’ know, I'm not allowed to go down there. ''  
'' But your card gives access to the floor? ''  
'' Yes, it does in cases of emergencies. ''  
'' Well this is an emergency isn’t it? '' Clarke pulled the woman abruptly and pushed her forward  
'' Lead the way. ''  
The woman walked down the hall and Clarke close behind her with her rifle pointed at the woman’s back and Kane followed with one of the guards. The other guard had stayed behind to help in the room with all the cages. They took an elevator and went down to the restricted floor that the woman had described. It was a long corridor and seemed empty.  
'' Where is everybody? '' Clarke asked will woman  
'' Since there was breach of security everyone should probably be in isolation, there are no hazmat suits for everyone, only guards and doctors. ''  
Kane took the lead and Clarke continued after the woman while the other guard looked after the rear, there were many doors and they had no time to check one by one so they left the woman with the guard and separated so that they could each check one door at a time. Clarke ran to the end of the corridor and turned to the right when she heard voices, she leaned against the door and recognized the voice of the doctor; she opened the door without thinking already pointing the gun at the woman in her front. When she had time to examine what she saw, she spotted someone face down on the table; she couldn’t see his face but knew it was him.  
'' Bellamy, are you okay? '' Her heart was in her mouth and she swore to herself that if he did not answer, she would shoot the woman in her damn head.  
“Clarke? Is that you? What are you doing here? It’s dangerous!” She approached him at the side of the table  
''What the hell do you think you’re doing with him? '' She asked the doctor  
''Well you've discovered how we use grounders’ blood didn’t you? And I bet you thought we'd do this with your friends as well, but unfortunately we seek a more permanent solution and the only way that happens, was using the bone marrow of your friends, and I can say that the first experiment was a success, but unfortunately the donor did not survive, 'medically provoked death' so to speak. So the next would be your friend here, I was about to start. ''  
''Clarke what's going on out there? '' Bellamy was already impatient, but Clarke was very angry at the woman.  
''Who was…who was the person you killed? ''  
''I'm sorry but I'm terrible with names, maybe you can ask the rest of them if you get out of here alive. ''  
That was it, the doctor was buying time, while Clarke was distracted looking at Bellamy. Suddenly she had a machine in hand that looked like a drill, and she pointed it at Bellamy’s hip.  
''Put that down now or I'll kill you.''  
'' You're not a killer Clarke, you came here for your friends, you will not kill me, and you’ll let me finish my work unless you me a good reason not to do it. '' She motioned with the drill to his head. Clarke shook with anger  
'' If you hurt him I will end you. ''  
At this point the doctor turned on the little machine and Clarke decided that she had no time for negotiations, and this woman was crazy. She took three shots in the doctor's chest and the doctor fell to the floor dead. At that time Kane heard the shots appeared at door. Clarke hung her gun on her shoulder, went to Bellamy and helped him sit up.  
'' Are you okay? Did she do something to you? '' Bellamy seemed dazed and confused  
'' Yeah I'm fine, I just don’t remember much. ''  
'' Do you remember how you came here? '' Clarke asked  
'' Yes, we were in the forest and I hit you and I was captured. ''  
'' Well ... '' Clarke started then she slapped Bellamy in the face so hard that he looked startled, as did Kane  
'' Do you realize what you put me through Bellamy Blake? You left me alone, I had to explain to Octavia that you could be dead because of me; do you have a sense of how I felt when I thought I might lose you too? '' Now she had tears streaming down her face.  
'' Clarke I thought I was doing you a favor, you said that she couldn't look at my face, after all I had done and that Finn’s death was my fault, and you were right, you shouldn't have wasted your time coming for me. ''  
Clarke slapped him in the face again, and now Bellamy seemed angry  
''You came to save my life just to hit me? ''  
Clarke was about to give another slap, but this time Bellamy was prepared, and he held her arm tightly  
''I lied to you, okay? I just said those things to you so that you would stay away from me, I told you, everyone I love dies, and you almost died today because of me, I just wanted you to be safe, I can’t lose you too Bellamy. If you died it would finish me once and for all, I just need you to be safe ... ''

She started crying again and he loosened his grip on her wrist and pulled her to him.  
''It's okay Clarke, I'm here now and not going anywhere, I'll never let you get away again, where you go I’ll go ... ''  
She pulled back and looked into his eyes  
''You promise me you'll never do something stupid like that again!'' He smiled  
''I promise Princess.'' He kissed her forehead  
''Great. '' She finally smiled at him. ''Come on, we have to get our friends and get out of here.''  
Kane who was watching at the door smiled and went to the guard who was with the hostage. Clarke turned away to leave the room but Bellamy pulled her by the arm to him; she put both hands on his chest and he leaned his forehead against hers feeling her breath on his face he moved closer and captured her lips in a quick chaste but intense kiss.  
''I knew you loved me.'' He smiled  
''You're stupid you know? '' Clarke’s cheeks flushed  
''Well I'd love to let you help me.'' He said  
''We'll work on that.'' She said, ''Now come on, we have to get out of here and save our friends.''  
They left the room without looking back and suddenly Clarke had the feeling that things were about to get better because she had Bellamy Blake at her side, and that feeling was the best in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the end, I hope you have enjoyed read as much as I enjoyed writing

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys I hope you enjoyed it, tell me what you guys thought, constructive criticism are welcome


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